I’m a mac girl, always have been. I love the agility of all that is apple, the brightness of its technology, the beauty of its simplicity; that daunting simplicity that Microsoft users are so puzzled by. Whenever a Microsoft person starts ranting against the esoteric ridiculousness that is macintosh, I sit back and gloat, coated by my superiority complex, which came free inside the neatly packaged apple of my eye.
And so I went to the nearest branch of cool a couple of months ago and told the salesman I’d be needing a new laptop: Mac the Third, I’d call it. Light in my pockets, I was sitting with Thirdy on my lap one day, breastfeeding its configurations, when I noticed something: the battery plug was wider than the one from my last acquisition back in ’07. I suppose that, in it of itself, may not mean much; after all, the computer came with its own plug, so I don’t need to use the old one for any reason, though if the new one were to break, get lost, or be chewed by the dog, I could not replace it with the old one, and the old one, having been made obsolete by its updated version, is now a perfectly good cable that will soon be use for nothing.
And so, I could not stop staring at the little sleek piece of metal. It’s extra decimal of a millimeter bothered me so. It was not until a few weeks later, when I finally decided to put in use a little iPod I was given at Christmas and that had, much like this blog, been sitting in a dusty corner, building resentments, that I came face to face with the unmasked heinous reality that is the rotten apple.
Low and behold, the connector was not a decimal — or two or three — of a millimeter different than the old ones, it was an entirely different plug. An, entirely, different plug. So here it is: I’m not a mac girl, and neither are you, dearer reader, a mac girl, or a mac boy, or a mac being of any kind. You see, to be a mac girl I would have held at least some responsibility, and hence some slight power to decide, on such a brusque change, and believe me, I would have not changed the freaking end of the connector that plugs to the dozens of cables that will now serve to connect absolutely nothing.
The sad reality is that neither you nor I have any say in what we are sold, because the moment we — yes, I’m using the community we, so as to not feel I’m the only idiot out there — decided we were loyal to brand makers — of which, macintosh is king — we unconsciously vowed to give them our money and use their products, no matter what. Meanwhile, we desperately try to identify with the products they sell us, if only because we have no other choice but to seek some sense of personality in the machines we waste so much time with.
Perhaps you are well aware of this fact and are already considering clicking away from this post so that you may go and “do something productive”online, as if such a thing existed, or, perhaps, your mind is being blown (pooow!) by the very suggestion that you may not be a mac boy. Whatever your reaction and your current technological situation, you, my friend, are being played with by invisible monsters represented by the faces of a few wealthy people.
Having been a monstrous fruit consumer for a few years, I own a plethora of technology that is made specifically for the iPod/iPhone connector. This connector:
Well, since that is no longer what mac wants to produce, because they just don’t feel like it — feel free to conclude with your own reasons as to why that is happening, I encourage both cynicism and fatalism — we are all gonna have to get ourselves a whole new drawer of wires, plugs, adaptors, speakers, chargers, etc.
I would have imagined that this is exactly the kind of thing that would prove a point in some Microsoft-lover’s speech, and that there would have been endless forums and support groups to cope with the trauma of change, and yet, a quick google search brings up mostly techie articles about how the whatever connector is different from the new whatever connector.
If we wanted to get all techie-talk about it, we could even go as far as relating that the European Union might just ban the new connector in its jurisdiction, as it is considering making all smartphones have the same connector — to be less wasteful, apparently. But let’s not get into that, if I had a comment for every nonsensical decision the EU Parliament wastes its time with, I wouldn’t have time to make important decisions that could save the world, as they do…
So here I am, ironically writing this post on my brand-new apple computer; the little metal connector is gloating at me, the bastard. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not about to sell my computer and get myself a flimsy, virus-ridden PC — if you’re a PC user about to complain, don’t, and do click that anti-virus software notification away — because despite its evil empire of cool, macintosh produces beautiful, sturdy, and proficient technology.
I do not know whether my next computer-based technology purchase will be from apple, but I know this: once brand loyalty fades, purchasing power feels like power again.